Politics of skin color

November 28, 2007, Sikasso MALI
Politics of skin color

Today during a meeting with the two leaders of SOS SIDA, the excitement and anxiety of the event came to an interesting halt. The boys called for the meeting, I set my things aside getting ready to hear the latest updates. Today’s table issue: conditions of the basketball teams. Conditions? I did not understand but I knew it was not going to be good.

It turns out the coaches from the basketball teams are asking what they are getting out of participating in the event. After playing the qualifying games this past weekend and getting things ready for the final games on Sunday, I am surprised to hear about their requests so late into the schedule of events. It takes a while for the boys to tell me what the “conditions” are.

I need you to be honest with me, what did they ask for? Lasine, who sometimes flowers things up for me before telling me the facts gives off his nervous laugh that I have become used to. “They are asking for 20,000F CFA each” 20,000F CFA, that is 40US dollars. I don’t understand. We have already set aside water bottles, t-shirts for the coaches, certificates of participation and a group photo for each team. From the beginning, I made it clear we were not giving out money. This is a not a fundraising event. This condition of money is not something I am happy with.

It takes me a while to register everything the boys are telling me partly because I almost cant believe what I am hearing better yet I don’t want to believe what I am hearing. “The coaches say that AIDS programs always have money to “throw”around.” This is something we cannot avoid,” The coaches say they are just as involved in planning this event as we are. Giving things out like water bottles and t-shirts is only half of what they expect, money is a given—especially if a “white” person is involved.

There it is: “when a white person is involved,” the phrase that takes the event and frames it into another type of discussion. I could not forget that as much as I want this event to be for the youth group, as much as it is a time for the community to come together, my presence and participation makes this event complicated, misunderstand and something ugly. It makes it a charity case, a photo opportunity, a check on the yearly objectives and it turns into the politics of skin color.

“This is a cultural matter. We need to give them something like money or else they will become upset. You cannot avoid this type of matter” Lascine can already see my eyes getting wider and my hands folded together, he’s picked up on the meaning of my mannerisms as well. I tell myself to think before I speak and to not get too hot headed. I just had a conversation with my homologue the day before about minimizing things in my life…not to take things too seriously. Think before speaking. There is cultural protocol that always has to take place and I need to be aware of them before I jump ahead and offend someone.

Culture and the protocol necessary in Mali are things I do not take lightly. I recognize certain things need to be done but I cannot help to think about when it is cultural and when someone is just taking advantage of the situation. I do not want to give out the money, I think the gifts we are giving are more than enough. I cant help but reference if we were in the States (yes, I know its unfair) and if a youth group was putting on a basketball tournament for a World AIDS Day event, giving prizes for participation would be more than enough wouldn’t it? I hate what this is leading up to. Its not about me right? I do not think it is fair for me to frame this situation on my individual case but I cant ignore this situation’s relationship to this situation to development. It is about giving and it is about the difference of being poor and rich-being black and being white—American and African.

I hear the comments almost everyday. Le Blanch donnez moi le cent franc, donnez moi le mille franc. Le Blache, Le Blach Le Blanch, I cannot change the color of my skin and I cannot change the fact that I chose to be in this environment—I don’t know how I can prove my intentions or even if it is possible. I know why I am working with this youth group, I know that I am trying as hard as I can to not make this an to an “America freebie feast,” and I know that at the end this is something I am not walking away from giving myself a pat on the back. This is the problem with development isn’t? There are so many misunderstandings, so many assumptions and unrealistic expectations. What am I supposed to do? And yet can I really blame the coaches for asking? Every evening the news shows another story of country X giving X amount of money to build, fund, rebuild, train, etc If you see the last project with the White person giving out goods and money, what’s so wrong with asking your own resident white person?

I think about integration and to what extent it can apply to my experience here in Mali. I speak the local language, I live in the community, I ride my bike around town and go to boutiques and markets everyday. I feel part of the community but when something like this happens, I get a reality check. I am an outsider and there is not too much I can control. I am sure not many people understand what Peace Corps really is. Yes I say I am a volunteer but that does not go very far. I still live in a house with electricity and once a month a white 4-runner comes to my house dropping off things (our monthly shuttle drops off mail and medical supplies.) It is all perceptions and assumptions. I am not victim but I feel judged unfairly.

Today I tell my homologue about what the boys told me and my homologue is not happy. “They are taking advantage of you. Why are the coaches changing what they agreed on?.” I don’t know, I tell him. “They think you have money. They think you are keeping it from them.” I don’t understand it and it makes more even more frustrated. Why would they think this?

I can only ask for so much and in the end I cannot control what people think about. I think it is unfortunate that it comes down to the color of my skin. It is the fact that I am an other. I try to think consciously about what my presence means and today was a reminder of it how complicated and ugly skin color can be. I may have the right intentions and I may think I am trying my best—and even if I know the truth, I am different, the color of my skin give off its own perceptions. White is the color of money. White is the color of charity. White is the color of power. Is it fair? I don’t think so and I do not like it. It is something that can be stopped? I do not think so.

** White—yes, it makes me uncomfortable to use this classification to define myself in this entry. It is used as a general term. I am not white—but white is used to mean non-Black/not Malian. Sorry if it is counter productive.

*** As an update, I talked to the boys again and we have made a decision to not give any money to anyone. Winning teams get basketballs and that is it. Fingers crossed.

In motion

So it has been while..and guess what things are actually sort of busy here, yes I know! No really things have been going pretty well these past five months or so and I am really really happy. I just found out that the Returned Peace Corps Volunteers of Los Angeles approved funding for a World AIDS Day event I am putting together with a local youth group. It is going to be a basketball tournament and HIV/AIDS information fair. I am a little nervous, I feel like its just like putting my programming event hat on again but this time Im in Mali, with not a lot of money or resources, a different language and people who work only have the day BUT it will be okay : ) I had meetings with the youth group and its awesome seeing them in action. Each person providing their opinion, joking around, getting ideas down and debating about how to organize things, it is really rewarding to just watch them. The plan for the event is to invite NGOs and other PCVs to host tables about HIV/AIDS and any other health related topics.


SOS SIDA group members

The youth are going to perform skits and maybe have a HIV/AIDS fighting themed rap performance! Watch out 50 Cent, they've got skill AND a positive message. Its exciting but I also have to remind myself that keeping it slightly small and contained would be smart since I don’t feel as “in control” as I do if I was planning something like this in the states. There is also all the official Malian protocol of making “important” people feel important that needs to be done, which I don’t always like to do but must.

Check out our t-shirt design. Let me know if you wanna buy one, only $5! The funds will go to paying for HIV/AIDS trainings in villages and official registration for the youth group.


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I've been running around here in Bamako for the past couple of days gathering things for the event. The CDC and Embassy were great and donated water bottles, tshirts, bags and 6000 condoms. I am gonna try to watch all these freebies cause you know I dont want to make it a freebie fest--We're here to talk about HIV/AIDS here!! Anyway it is exciting and nerve-racking at the same time.

I am enjoying life even without this event going on. My friends are great, my homologue is supportive and humbling, Boo is still crazy and I am healthy. For now I cannot complain.